Finding Gratitude in Hard Times When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
Can I tell you something? Finding gratitude in hard times is not just an idea we talk about on Sundays or when life feels calm. It’s something we actually have to practice when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. How many of you have ever found yourself sitting in the middle of a season that you never saw coming and wondered, How am I supposed to be grateful right now? I’ve been there. I know so many of us have too.
In our recent podcast episode, we talked about what it looks like to choose gratitude right in the middle of disappointments and changes we never planned, finding God in hard times. Let me share how I’m learning (over and over) that finding gratitude in hard times is a kind of holy rebellion - and it changes everything, and you can find guidance in Finding Faith After Loss.
What Does Finding Gratitude in Hard Times Look Like?
Here’s the thing. Finding gratitude in hard times is different than feeling grateful when everything is going your way. It’s not about pretending you’re happy about pain or loss. It’s not about fake smiles and acting like life is perfect. It’s about choosing thankfulness in the middle of real mess. It’s recognizing that you don’t have to be thankful for the hard thing itself, but you can be thankful during it.
Let me give you an example from my own story. I remember sitting in my room, looking at a situation that felt impossible. Prayers for something good to be restored just...weren’t answered the way I’d hoped. In that moment, I wasn’t grateful for the struggle. But I could say, God, I’m grateful You’re here with me even now. I could thank Him for the comfort I felt, for Christian community support that showed up, for hope that somehow started to peek through. That’s what finding gratitude in hard times looks like, Gratitude Practices for Healing. It isn’t about denying reality. It’s about inviting God’s goodness into it.
The Difference Between Thankfulness For and Thankfulness In
One shift that helps is knowing the difference between thanking God for the pain and thanking Him in the pain. In hard seasons, I try to find one thing (no matter how small) that I can thank God for. Sometimes it’s as simple as, Thank You for Your presence, or Thank You that I made it through today. It’s not about celebrating the setback, it’s about finding gratitude in hard times through small, honest prayers and open eyes.
Why Is Gratitude So Hard When Life Falls Apart?
Does this sound familiar? You hear, Be grateful in every circumstance, and you wonder how you’re supposed to do that when your life is upside down. I get it. My mind wants to focus on what’s missing, what hurts, or what didn’t work out. But I’ve learned that the practice of finding gratitude in hard times is what recalibrates my perspective.
Our words follow our thoughts, and our thoughts shape our hearts. When I start naming things I’m grateful for, even with tears in my eyes, something shifts. My heart gets lighter. I see evidence of God’s faithfulness, even if the situation hasn’t changed yet. There’s something about saying it out loud - Thank You, God, for walking with me, for small joys in my day, for strength I didn’t know I had. Anyone can do this. You can start right now, no matter what you face.
The Domino Effect of Grateful Words
One time, I started with something as basic as, Thank You for coffee in my cup. It felt a little silly. But that started a domino effect. I found three more things to be grateful for by lunchtime. The more I looked for gratitude, the more I found it. That’s not magic, it’s a mindset shift. God gives us the ability to find gratitude in hard times, and every bit counts.
How Do You Find Gratitude When You Just Feel Empty?
Let’s be real. Sometimes we just don’t feel grateful. Some days, finding gratitude in hard times means saying, God, help me want to be thankful. That’s a prayer He loves to answer. In the podcast, we talked about how speaking gratitude out loud can actually lead your heart to the right place, even if you’re not feeling it yet. Our words have power. The Bible says, Death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21 CSB). This is your invitation to start with your mouth, and let your heart catch up. Don’t wait until you feel it - start choosing it and watch the shift happen.
Small Habits That Grow Gratitude
Here are a few things that help me do life with a grateful heart even in the storm:
- I name what I’m thankful for (even if it’s just my bed or the sunshine)
- I write down one good thing every evening, no matter how rough the day
- I talk about gratitude with my kids or friends (we model it for each other)
- I ask God to show me small blessings I might overlook
Finding gratitude in hard times is a practice. It grows stronger with each little step. We don’t have to do it perfectly. We start where we are and offer it honestly.
What Happens When We Practice Finding Gratitude in Hard Times?
Here’s the amazing thing. As we practice finding gratitude in hard times, it guards our hearts from bitterness and pride. It softens us. It gives us perspective. Thankfulness opens our eyes to what God is still doing, even in seasons we didn’t choose. It humbles us and makes us more willing to serve others. It draws us close to each other and to God because suddenly we see His hand in the ordinary and the hard.
In the podcast, we laughed about how being around grateful people just feels lighter. They bring out the best in us. We tend to become more like the people we surround ourselves with. See what’s growing in your community. Are you with friends who point out small blessings, who speak hope? Choose to be that kind of person for someone else too. That’s how finding gratitude in hard times becomes the culture we live in, not just a personal habit.
Contentment, Gratitude, and Avoiding the Pitfall of Complacency
Contentment doesn’t mean settling for less or giving up on hope. Gratefulness and contentment are woven together. When I’m content, I stop chasing every new thing and find peace with what God has given me in this moment. It’s not being complacent or refusing to change. It’s being thankful right where I am, even as I believe for more. It changes how I treat my family, my work, my community. Finding gratitude in hard times helps me see what’s enough instead of what’s missing.
What the Bible Says About Finding Gratitude in Hard Times
I always come back to this truth. God invites us to give thanks even when things don’t go as planned. One verse that stays with me is 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (CSB): Give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Notice it says in everything, not for everything. God does not expect us to rejoice because of grief or loss, but He meets us in it and teaches us how to see stories of grace and hope anyway.
Maybe you’re like me and you need reminders. Write down this verse. Put it somewhere you’ll see it. When circumstances feel heavy, remember that even one line of gratitude spoken in faith can open the door to hope.
Practical Ways to Start Finding Gratitude in Hard Times
Let’s keep it simple. Here are a few ways you can get started today, even if you feel overwhelmed:
- Speak one thing you’re grateful for out loud every morning. Let your words lead your heart.
- Write down three blessings before bed. They don’t have to be big. Small wins count.
- Pray, God, help me see your goodness today. Even a little bit.
- Share one gratitude moment with a friend or in a journal
- Find a Bible verse on gratitude and keep it nearby (try 1 Thessalonians 5:18 CSB!)
It’s not about the quantity. It’s about consistency. Little by little, finding gratitude in hard times becomes more natural. And as you do, anxiety and discouragement lift, and peace has room to grow.
Let’s Walk This Together
The best part of practicing gratitude is, we don’t have to do it alone. In our community (and in every podcast episode) we are finding ways to live out faith in daily life - together. We can model gratitude for our kids, encourage each other on hard days, and remind each other that there is still good to be found. Even when things don’t go as planned, God is still at work. Our posture of gratitude can help us see it, trust it, and move forward with hope.
Go and share your own small gratitude story with someone else today. And if you want more stories like this, join our conversation in the full podcast episode, "Transforming Pain into Perspective: The Power of Gratitude." Let’s keep building a community of hope - one grateful step at a time.
