Can I tell you something honest? For a long time, I did all the right things. My checklist faith was strong. Sunday, church. Morning, quiet time. Bible study, group leadership, serving when needed. But somewhere along the way, I started missing what it means to have a deepening relationship with God. Maybe you’ve been there, too. Wondering why a full calendar and every “right” box checked still leaves an ache for something real.
Here's the thing. We talk a lot about faith, but sometimes what we settle for is routine. We get familiar with the motions. We forget faith is meant to be lived, not just performed. In our recent podcast episode, we dove right into this—the difference between acting out faith and actually experiencing a deepening relationship with God. And let me assure you, there’s a huge difference.
Why Does Going Through the Motions Feel So Empty?
I remember a time when saying all the right things seemed enough. I’d show up, share the verses, lead the discussions. But deep down, something was missing. My prayers felt flat, and my heart wasn’t really connecting. If you know that tension, I want you to know you’re not alone.
We live in a culture where doing more can look like being more faithful. Read your Bible, memorize a passage, volunteer. Those things are good. But a deepening relationship with God isn’t about embracing grace over fear. It’s about letting Him in—mess and all. Sometimes, we act like we have it together because we think it’s expected — and spiritual self-care tips can help. But God does His best work in our most honest, vulnerable moments.
Recognizing When You’re Just Performing
It’s easy to recognize the symptoms. Faith feels dry. Worship is routine. It can feel like you’re working your way up a hill with no view at the top. Maybe you’re there right now. Or maybe you’re afraid to admit you are because you think “real” Christians shouldn’t feel that way. But I’ve learned that being honest in those seasons is where healing starts and where deepening relationship with God becomes a possibility again.
How Loss Can Lead to a New Beginning With God
Let me tell you about a real conversation from the podcast. We talked about loss, grief, and how feeling let down by God can unravel everything “good Christian behavior” promises. There was a moment of total honesty—a confession that doing all the right things didn’t protect from heartache. That story echoed my own. Sometimes, things fall apart right when you think you’re doing everything right. Sometimes it takes losing the things you held tight to see the invitation for a deeper, more personal walk.
Psalm 40:2 says, "He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure" (CSB). That’s not a promise for the perfect. That’s hope for those willing to bring their heartbreak, disappointment, and questions directly to Him. In times of loss, our faith has a chance to shift from performance to presence—from saying the right words to talking with God in the rawest way. That’s where a deepening relationship with God begins again.
Everyday Epiphanies: Seeing God in the Ordinary
One thing that challenged me from the podcast was the idea of “everyday epiphanies.” These are little flashes of understanding or comfort, often right in the middle of your most ordinary days. Maybe it’s while folding laundry, or when something silly reminds you of a Bible story. It’s God connecting life and scripture in ways you didn’t expect. I think we miss a lot of these if we’re always busy doing religion. But when we pause, we start to see how God weaves His presence into daily moments—big and small. That’s the stuff deepening relationship with God is made of.
What Does Authentic Faith Look Like in Real Life?
This is the question I love asking in our community. Not “how much have you learned?” or “are you doing it perfectly?” More like, “how real is your walk with God right now?” For years I wore the ministry mask. You know the one. The “fine, thank you” kind of faith. The truth is, it never helped anyone—including me. It took a rock-bottom season for me to realize the deepening relationship with God happens when I stop pretending. When I stopped trying to look strong, He showed up as my actual strength.
Signs Your Relationship With God Is Getting Deeper
- You start bringing honest prayers, not just polished words.
- Scripture feels personal, not just informative.
- Everyday life starts to reflect small moments of grace or guidance.
- You want to share your mess and your hope with others, not hide behind perfection.
One of the best shifts I’ve seen in my own journey is the move from isolation to authentic community. When we let people see our stories—mess and all—it creates room for God to work in us and through us. That’s a deepening relationship with God, lived out in real time.
Practical Ways to Pursue a Deepening Relationship With God
Daily Connection Without the Checklist
This was a big one from our podcast. I used to think time with God meant following a set formula. But a relationship is about presence, not perfection. Some days, my prayers are written in a notebook. Other days, I’m muttering thanks while driving. The key is intention. Not performance. Pick up your Bible and read one verse. Pause and just ask Him what He wants to show you. God’s not timing you. He’s inviting you closer.
Be Honest With God (And Yourself)
Let the conversations get real. Be brave enough to tell God when you feel let down, lost, or angry. Do the same with a trusted friend or a good counselor. I’ve learned that the honest prayers, the tearful questions—those are often the beginning of renewed faith. They’re the soil for a deepening relationship with God. You do not have to do this alone, and it’s okay to ask for help both spiritually and practically.
Watch For God in Everyday Life
I started a practice I call “downloads from the Lord.” Maybe you have too. It’s those little nudges—a memory, a truth, a verse that comes to mind at just the right moment. Every ordinary day can be an opportunity to see something new about Him. Open your heart to those daily epiphanies. Take two minutes to jot them down. Celebrate those moments, even if they seem small.
Why Community Matters for a Deeper Faith
I used to think faith was private. Now, I know deepening relationship with God grows in community. Your real, authentic story might be the hope someone else needs. Don’t be afraid to let friends, small groups, or your church see who you are (not just who you think you should be). You might be surprised how much God uses your story for someone else’s healing, too.
Let’s keep it simple. Let’s be brave enough to show up as we are, bring our honest questions to God, and invite others to do the same. Our community is stronger for it. Not because we’re perfect, but because we are being perfected in love, one honest day at a time. That is the heart of a deepening relationship with God.
What’s Helping Me Deepen My Relationship With God Right Now?
- Reading Scripture slowly, with an open heart
- Writing honest prayers and thoughts (sometimes messy, always real)
- Talking openly to trusted friends or a counselor
- Looking for God in my everyday, ordinary moments
- Letting myself start again on the hard days—with grace
And here’s a reminder, friend. You don’t have to “fix” yourself to draw close to Him. He has always been there, waiting with open arms. This week, make space for one honest conversation with the Lord. Jot down even one line of gratitude or a question for Him. Ask Him to meet you—right in the middle of your real life. That’s the first step to a deepening relationship with God.
If today’s article stirred something in you, I’d love for you to check out the full podcast episode and share it with a friend who might need the encouragement. Let’s keep practicing the kind of faith that goes way beyond the motions—and grows more authentic, rich, and life-giving each day.
