Finding Peace Through Surrender When Life Feels Out of Control and Heavy
Can I tell you something honest? Finding peace through surrender isn't easy for most of us. I mean, how many of us have ever just wanted to fix things? To control all the outcomes? I have. I remember whole seasons where I wanted to will my life into place. But the more I tried to hold everything together, the more life slipped like sand through my fingers, a reminder that trusting God through waiting when healing takes longer than expected is a path toward hope. That’s when it hit me: peace wasn’t coming through force, but spiritual rebuilding after setbacks can bring true peace. It was something else entirely.
In our recent podcast episode, I had the joy of sitting with Andy. She shared her story with such raw honesty, and her words gave me a new way to look at letting go. If you feel like nothing makes sense right now, or you’re scared of what happens if you stop trying to control the outcome, you are in the right place, and finding God in hard times can keep hope alive. Let’s put this perspective into practice together and talk about finding peace through surrender when life just feels broken.
Why Does Letting Go Feel So Impossible Sometimes?
Let’s be real. Letting go feels risky. For so many of us, letting go of control sounds like giving up, and dealing with doubt as a Christian is part of learning to surrender. It sounds weak. It sounds like inviting chaos. But here’s the thing I’m starting to see: holding on tight changes nothing. Control is a myth. When I look back at the times I white-knuckled my way through hard seasons, I realize now I was just getting exhausted. Not productive. Not healed. Just tired and discouraged.
Andy’s story reminded me so much of my own heart. She talked about how she kept pleading with God to fix her marriage. To change her circumstances. It wasn’t until she was honest about her pain that she realized surrender meant asking for God’s will, not just her own. That’s a hard shift to make, building Christian community. But it’s where real hope grows through building Christian community.
What Keeps Us Gripping Control?
- We fear the unknown (What if letting go makes things worse?)
- We worry we won’t survive the pain
- We think God might not show up for us
- We get used to doing things our way (even if it doesn’t work)
If that sounds like your story, you’re not alone. And it doesn’t have to stay that way, finding hope after loss can begin today.
What Does Finding Peace Through Surrender Actually Look Like?
This is the part where I wish I could sit across from you with coffee. Because this isn’t about a checklist or quick fix, spiritual self care tips can guide daily habits. Finding peace through surrender is a daily practice. Some days, it’s as simple as breathing Jesus’ name when you don’t know what else to pray. Other days, it’s shutting the door, opening your Bible, and just sitting in that quiet space to listen.
There’s a verse that never fails to bring perspective. Psalm 34:18 (CSB) says, “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” Let that settle in for a second. God is not waiting for you to be strong. He is coming close right where you are. You don’t have to fix yourself first. You don’t have to make a prettier mess. Finding peace through surrender means trusting him to meet you in the mess, not to judge, but to bring comfort and hope.
Simple Steps to Begin Finding Peace Through Surrender
- Pause before reacting - take a breath and pray, even if only for a moment
- Ask God honestly, “What do you want for me today?”
- Sit in a quiet spot, away from distractions (closets count!)
- Read a single verse, let it speak, and listen for his voice
- If all you can pray is “Jesus, help,” let that be enough
And if you pick all of this up again later? No guilt. Just go back to him. That’s what grace is for.
How Does Finding Peace Through Surrender Change Our Everyday Life?
Can I tell you the thing I wish I’d learned younger? The world tells us peace comes when everything looks good on the outside. But true peace—the deep, steady, “it is well with my soul” kind—comes when we stop trying to run the show. Andy’s story painted this so perfectly. Even before her circumstances changed, before the divorce papers were final, before the new story was written, her heart began to quiet when she started surrendering.
I’ve seen this in my own life, too. I’ve prayed over things for years thinking I was surrendering, only to realize my grip was tighter than ever. But every time I choose to open my hands (again and again), I receive more clarity, more rest, and more unexpected goodness than I could have orchestrated for myself. God’s peace doesn’t erase every pain, but it anchors me when the storm comes.
What Happens When We Actually Let Go?
- We sleep better (even if nothing is fixed yet)
- We find hope growing in quiet places
- Relationships start to heal slowly and quietly
- We hear God’s voice in ways we missed before
- The next right step becomes clearer, little by little
That’s the gift of finding peace through surrender - not a magic eraser, but a steady peace from knowing God is handling what we can’t.
Finding Peace Through Surrender in Our Community and Families
Let’s talk about our families and our community for a minute. Maybe you’re the person who holds everything together for everyone else. Maybe you never let them see you break. I’ve lived that too. But hear me: our people need to see us trust God, not just talk about it. Our community becomes stronger when we model surrender instead of hustle and striving. When we let God’s peace fill our homes, our kids, spouses, and friends will feel it too.
Andy said something that stays with me. She realized she kept trying to will her life into place, out of pride and habit, instead of letting God direct her steps. So, I’m asking myself (and you): Can we let go of the need to be enough and let God be enough for us and our people?
Small Ways to Share This Peace With Others
- Pray out loud in front of your family, even if it’s short and simple
- Let others see you say “I don’t know, but I trust God will lead us”
- Point out moments where God showed up when you let go (even small ones)
- Invite friends into your honest struggles, not just your victories
Daily Reminders When Surrender Feels Like Too Much
Every single day is a new chance. Finding peace through surrender will never be a one-time event. It is a process. Some seasons, you might find yourself going back to the same spot—same prayers, same questions. That’s not a failure. It’s faith growing strong inside of you, one honest prayer at a time.
If surrender still feels too risky today, start smaller. Say his name. Set your phone down for five minutes and breathe. Remember the promise from Psalm 34:18—he is close. That closeness is where peace grows.
Here’s what keeps helping me:
- Keep a sticky note somewhere with a simple prayer (“God, what do you have for me today?”)
- Thank God for any little glimpses of peace or progress
- When you start gripping life tightly, pause and pray before reacting
Let’s Keep Practicing Finding Peace Through Surrender Together
I want our community to know that you don’t have to carry everything. You don’t have to clean up your life for God to work. You can come with questions and still find peace through surrender, one day at a time. Every story matters here, including yours.
If you need more encouragement, I’d love for you to listen to our recent podcast episode, "Held in the Breaking." We get real about what wrestling and surrendering to God looks like beyond Sunday mornings or highlight reels. You’ll find practical steps, honest stories, and plenty of reminders that you are not alone. Listen here or check out more encouragement in our family surrender article.
Remember, finding peace through surrender is less about doing it perfectly and more about following Jesus into the mess, asking him to lead, and letting his nearness become our steady anchor. I’m cheering you on as you practice, one small shift at a time. Let’s keep putting these perspectives into practice—together.
